I'm exactly at the mid-point of my Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship. I thought this would be a good time to do a midterm assessment of sorts looking at all the aspects of the experience so far: cultural adjustment, teaching, traveling, making friends, and goals I still have yet to achieve.
Cultural Adjustment
I did not expect nor had I ever experienced the kind of culture shock that hit me the first couple months I was in Panama. I struggled finding a place to live, getting in to a routine, feeling comfortable, making friends and just being happy. While the first couple months were some of the more difficult, I know that I grew more emotionally and developed a kind of strength that can only come through a struggle like that. I'm really glad I won't ever have to go through those two months ever again but I'm really proud of myself for getting through and for becoming a better, stronger person because of it. I still don't always feel super connected to Panama but this is my life right now and this is an incredible opportunity that I won't ever get to relive.
I also had a tough time adjusting to Panama's Spanish dialect. My ears are getting more and more used to it and sometimes I find myself cutting my words so that I'm better understood by locals. I'm still not as immersed in the language as I was hoping/expecting to be; but hopefully as my friend network continues to expand and I start doing some more volunteering that will change.
Teaching
Other than being thrown into a new culture, the biggest change I've experienced is becoming a teacher. When I was in middle school and high school I liked the idea of being an English teacher (writing and literature, not ESL) but once I got to college I completely abandoned that idea. Well, turns out my middle/high school instincts might have been right. I really enjoy teaching. I've been introduced to the intricacies of lesson planning, classroom management, pair work, group work, pronunciation techniques and the affective filter. My goals are to be as prepared as possible for each lesson through a plan that follows the SIOP model, to catch pronunciation and grammar points and address them as they come up, and to help my students feel comfortable and excited about learning. I'm fortunate to be working with a number of students who are diverse in their age, socio-economic background and level of English. I'm still co-teaching the conversation course, occasionally helping in an intro course, working with Access students and the CELI English club finally has a few committed students! We play a lot of games (Apples to Apples, word puzzles, hang man, story-telling scenarios, catch phrase, etc) just to get them thinking in and using English for one hour 3 days/week.
What I love most about teaching is seeing my students excited to learn and seeing them improve so drastically, so quickly, right in front of my eyes. While I love the challenge of working with a spectrum of levels, this teaching experience has reinforced that I want to teach but at a higher level. I want to spark the same passion and excitement for Latin American cultures in college/university students. I'm starting to get more of an idea of what I want my focus to be for graduate school. I have been interested in looking more closely at indigenous groups in Latin America and this experience has triggered an interest in languages. At this point, I think I'd like to combine those three areas and look into the ways maintaining an indigenous language has the ability to both empower and inhibit a group of people. The University of Texas, University of Wisconsin, University of Arizona and Georgetown University are all on my list of places to study. I'm particularly attracted to UT because of its flexibility and because of CILLA (Center for Indigenous Languages of Latin America). CILLA could hopefully offer me the opportunity to learn one (or more!) indigenous language and explore the effect it has on its people.
Traveling
Panama is an absolutely beautiful country and I have been fortunate to see a lot of it in the first half of my grant. Whether it's been a weekend trip to Santa Clara beach, Playa Malibu/Chame, El Valle or San Blas or a longer time spent in Bocas del Toro, Isla Grande and Playa Bonita I have seen beautiful beaches, gorgeous mountain settings and gone island-hopping in the Caribbean. I've used one of Panama's domestic air carriers; experienced the small, oversold, $3.00 buses; and crammed way too many people in an SUV. I'm lucky to have found a living situation in the first part of my grant that has afforded me the opportunity to see this gorgeous country.
In the next half of my grant I'll be doing more traveling. At the end of the month I'm going to Montevideo, Uruguay! This will be my first time out of Panama since I arrived in January and I'll be meeting up with about 20 Fulbright ETAs based in other countries. We'll be giving short presentations; the topics assigned to me are "Best Practices in Formal and Informal Teaching Settings" and "How to Encourage Speaking and Writing in English"---both very broad, I know. I plan to focus on the importance of lesson planning for the first presentation and will introduce some of the activities we've used in CELI English club for the second. We'll also be having general discussions on the successes and challenges we've faced, will attend English language teaching seminars and will (hopefully!) have some time to see a bit of Montevideo.
From July 2-10 I will be in the good ol' U.S.of A! I wasn't planning on returning to the States at all during my grant but when my mom offered to fly me to Charlotte to see her, my stepdad David, my sister Katie, my brother-in-law Joel, my boyfriend Jack and my NEPHEW Quin I really couldn't resist the offer. I'm planning on enjoying less-polluted air, going on walks without getting honked at, grilling daily, sleeping without ear plugs and hanging out with Quin as much as possible. Side bonus: my friend Lea from my Galapagos study abroad just moved to the Charlotte area so we're going to get together for a mini reunion! I think the week with family and friends back on U.S. soil will be just the refresher I need to help me re-focus and prepare for the final 4 months of my grant.
My cousin Laura is planning to visit me in Panama shortly after I get back from the States. I'm excited to show her a bit of the city and just spend some time with her as she recently graduated from high school and will start at Tulane in August--way to go Laura!
My mom, stepdad David and our friends Kelly and Wes are coming to visit for the last 10 days of August and we're planning to rent a house on Isla Contadora which is part of the Pearl Islands (where some seasons of Survivor have been filmed!) in the Pacific Ocean. Between September and October I'm planning a visit to see my friend/ETA counterpart in David, Panama. I want to see his site and travel to Boquete and Volcan which are, from what I hear, gorgeous mountainous regions.
By the end of my 10 months here I think I will have seen the major geographic highlights of this tiny country!
Making Friends
One of the toughest challenges of the first two months was dealing with the feelings of isolation and loneliness. I never knew those feelings could be so overwhelming in a city of over 1 million people. But once I put on a cute purple skirt and proudly introduced myself to complete strangers at a networking event in early April, I expanded my network by about 20-fold. I have a wonderful group of friends in the city that keeps growing. Just last weekend I had an action-packed weekend in El Valle with a new group of people that consisted of ultimate frisbee in the pouring rain, a party at a stunning house, talking, laughing, cramming 11 people in a car built for 8, eating at Quesos Chela (best cheese empanada of my life) and watching one of my friend's American football game.
Of course I'd still like to have more Panamanian friends but whether they're Panamanian or not, I'm just glad to have a fun, outgoing, interesting group of people to share exciting adventures with.
Goals for the Second Half
1. Continue all of the above. First and foremost I want to continue to make strides toward becoming a great teacher, sharing and exchanging culture, seeing the beauty of Panama and keep expanding my friend group.
2. Speak more Spanish! While I love my English-speaking friends and my job that revolves around English, I'm not forced to speak enough Spanish. Through more Panamanian friends and being a little more outgoing with the language, I think I can work on my fluency.
3. Find a side project to get more involved in the community. I'm hoping to do some volunteer work or maybe even some informal research work on my days off of work. I'd like to work with indigenous groups and/or women and children, if possible. Making this extra commitment will also help me feel even more connected to Panama.
4. Try to nail down what I want to study in grad school and where I want to go. The three aforementioned goals will all contribute to the achievement of this goal but I think I'm already on track to meeting it.
As up and down, back and forth, twisting/turning experience as this has been so far, I wouldn't change a minute of it. The highs and lows are what have sparked such emotional and professional change that I couldn't obtain in any other way. Thank you for joining me on this journey: for offering advice, looking at my photos, listening to me vent and just checking in. Your support really means more than you know.
Cuídate. Nos vemos en 5 meses!
