home stretch

Wow. In my last post I started off talking about how shocked I was for it to nearly be August. But now I have less than 6 weeks left. It's a really strange combination of feelings; for those of you that have lived or studied abroad for a significant amount of time I'm sure you understand. For those of you that haven't I'll do my best to explain it. I'm sure you all remember my first couple months here and how unsettled I was. I felt like things were completely out of my control. I didn't have a steady job and I didn't really have a home. I've never experienced such strong feelings of isolation, loneliness, anxiety, pressure and overall unease. November seemed so far away. But time went on. I was welcomed in to Christine's home. I began working closely with her as a student teacher. I became a lesson planning pro. I started co-teaching classes and working with Access students. I had many visitors (Katharine, Susan, Sra. Stiles, Jack, Dad, Laura, Mom, David, Kelly, and Wes) with whom I got to share this beautiful country. I went to networking events and expanded my friend group exponentially. I built relationships with friends and colleagues that I know will last longer than my time here.

This little country of only 3 million people that made me feel tiny and alone just 8 months ago has become my home. Just the other day I noticed I had gotten used to something I swore I would never adjust to: honking. I was walking from my bus stop to work and a few different taxis were honking at me for a number of possible reasons--to see if I wanted a ride, to suggest I needed to get out of their way or to express their interest in my appearance--but whatever the reason was I hardly even noticed their annoying little beeps. I kept walking and all of a sudden thought to myself "Holy cow I'm culturally adjusting. This is so weird." I've even gotten used to the heat! I've just accepted the fact that I will sweat everyday and will have to do more laundry than usual. It's still not comfortable and I'd really like to enjoy the fall weather of the Midwest, but I'm sure I'll miss this heat and humidity once it's winter in Iowa :)

One on of my first posts here, Kim Young-Kent commented with something that has stuck with me this whole time. She said that "you are home my dear girl...you are all the home you need." She was and still is right; it just took me a little while to see it.

With all of that said, I still am looking forward to my return to the US. It's a very bittersweet feeling knowing that I'm leaving this new home but that I'm going back to people I love so much and mean so much to me. Mostly I really can't wait for Jack and me to start our adventure together. I feel really lucky to have met the person I'm supposed to be with forever at such a young age. But we've spent so much time apart. Thanks for your patience, Jack. While I feel at peace here now, I feel more at home when I'm with you. Being in the same country as all my family (parents, grandparents, sister, brother-in-law, adorable nephew!, aunts, uncles, cousins, Jack's family, my good friends that might as well be family, etc.) is going to be really great, too. Oh, and I can't forget to mention all of the delicious food I'm going to stuff my face with: red meat, barbeque, Sweet Mandy B's!!!, good bread, honeycrisp apples, sushi--yes there is fresh fish here but no sushi restaurants, big bummer--and more that I can't type out now because thinking about it is making me salivate and I don't want to make a mess.

I also really really really can't wait to go back to school. I have been working with an indigenous group here, the Piriati Embera. They expressed concern over the disapperance of their indigenous language. Many of the elders speak it but don't read and write it. Most of the young people have limited to no knowledge of it. Even the community's cacique (the head honcho) has limited skills in the language. I went there in July for an initial meeting with the community's president and one of the informal Embera teachers. I returned on Sept. 18 with my friend and collaborator, Jackie, to meet with more of the teachers, the president and the cacique. I listened to the history of their community and their language and learned more about their needs in relation to preservation of the language. The community currently only has one Embera teacher that is certified by the ministry of education to be a teacher. I will be drafting a grant proposal for the community leaders to use to lobby for support and resources from local and international funders. I will focus this proposal on getting formal teacher training for the Embera teachers so that they can most effectively pass on their language to the young people of the community.

My work with Piriati Embera has solidifed my academic and career goals. I will be applying to the University of Texas in Austin and the University of Wisconsin in Madison (but I really want to be a Longhorn!). Burnt orange isn't my favorite color, but UT has the best program for what I want to study: Latin American studies. From my work with Piriati I plan to go for an MA in Latin American studies with a sociolinguistic lens. Then, I will, hopefully, continue on for a PhD in sociolinguistics. My whole experience as an ETA has showed me the power of language. I want to see how the introduction of a mainstream language (eg Spanish) impacts an indigenous person's cultural identity. Interesting stuff!

I also need to take this opportunity to tell you about my mom, David, Wes and Kelly's visit to Panama...it was amazing! First off, thanks to all of them for using some of their precious vacation days to visit me here. It really meant a lot for me to share this with you :) So the first couple days they were here we all squeezed in to my little apartment. They got to see my new 'hood and it saved them a fair amount of money (hotels are expensive here!). We took the Metro bus to Latina, they got to meet some of my colleagues and see where I work, we went to the local grocery store, and enjoyed local beers at night. They really got a taste of my daily life (but I don't consume nearly as much beer or rum by myself as I did with them!). On their first Saturday we took a boat through the Panama canal! A bus dropped us off at the middle set of locks, Pedro Miguel, then we boarded a boat formerly owned by Al Capone! The whole experience was really great. We had gorgeous weather, the guides were fantastic and I got to touch the walls of the Panama canal--one check off the bucket list. They also got to meet some of my new friends. Jenny, Josh and Isis joined us for Lebanese food at Cedros (my favorite spot in this city) and then drinks at Rana Dorada. On Sunday we took a boat to Contadora, an island in the Pearl Islands. I won't give you the day to day details of the trip but here are the highlights: we were greeted to the island by some dolphins following our boat and a humpback whale nearby, we stayed in a gorgeous villa (that housed some ladies of the night the night before our arrival...we were all happy to smell the overpowering scent of bleach when we walked in), we ate delicious seafood, we went to the beach every day, we drank a lot of rum and beer and even some Smirnoff Ice--Kelly was right, it's kind of delicious and very refreshing--we went on a snorkeling trip and listened to the sounds of a baby humpback whale, on our last full day we watched a humpback whale jump out of the water many times, we enjoyed the deliciousness cooked by Wes (wizard in the kitchen!), we saw the set of Survivor, and we relaxed (even my mom!). It was a really nice 4 days. Upon return to the city we went to Casco Viejo (the colonial part) where we had rented a gorgeous apartment for their last couple nights. We ventured to the fish market where we bought some lobster ceviche (YUM) and fresh shrimp. We ate a delicious 10-course meal at Manolo Caracol's. On my parents' last night we went for pizza, wine and live music. It was a perfect ending to a really wonderful trip. Thanks again guys!!

The weekend before last I went to visit Drew, the other ETA, in David. I had not made it to Chiriqui yet and was anxious to get there before the end of my time. Chiricanos are known in Panama for being very proud, friendly and outgoing people. I almost always know when I meet someone in the city from Chiriqui. I took the midnight bus that got me to David at 630 am on Friday. Drew met me at the station, we went back to his house and then went out to explore the little town of only 100,000 people. In the town center is a really nice plaza with a beautiful fountain. Shop after shop selling the same things line the plaza and the surrounding area. After a while of exploring and some lunch we headed to his placement, UNACHI (Universidad Autonomia de Chiriqui). Drew works at a public institution. He leads a reading club and a drama club and offers tutoring to students. The drama club was in session that day so I got to sit in on their meeting. The students impressed me SO much. Their passion for learning and dedication to their education was really inspiring to me. I felt a huge difference between the atmosphere at UNACHI and that of Latina. Latina tends to feel very sterile and office-y. But UNACHI had that warmth that cultivates a great learning environment. That night Drew and I met up with some Peace Corps volunteers who were really great. I've got a lot of respect for people who do Peace Corps. I thought this experience was tough but I didn't have to build my own house or only eat beans and rice for 2 years. On Saturday we took a bus (for a whopping $1.75!) to Boquete. This little highland town is famous for its coffee, cool weather and abundance of American retirees. We walked around, had a really nice (French!...who would've thought, French food in Chiriqui?!) lunch complete with escargot and duck, walked to a beautiful garden and enjoyed a cafecito on a patio. I was COLD--from the natural environment, not the air conditioning. It was glorious. On Sunday David finally showed me what it's famous for: heavy, heavy rain. It poured rain all day so our beach plans were scratched for watching opening day of the NFL. Not a bad trade off for two Americans missing American football! Thanks for showing me around and hosting me Drew! I'm glad I made it out there, wish I could have come sooner!!

This past weekend was the Panama TESOL (teaching english to speakers of other languages) conference here at Latina. I went to a couple of great workshops about peer coaching, observation, collaboration, effective classroom activities, and a great motivational talk by Marge Zuba--she's from Chicago and it was great to hear her accent and her Chicago stories. It was a great conference that I took a lot from. I also made the newsletter for the conference-- a 16-page spread to help celebrate Panama TESOL's 25th anniversary. It turned out really nice.

Those are the highlights from the last couple months. Here is what I have planned for my final 5.5 weeks:
1. A weekend getaway to a beach destination with friends.
2. Going to the World Baseball Cup, particulary US vs. Panama on Oct. 9.
3. Possibly seeing Ricky Martin in concert.
4. A potential trip to Los Pozos, where my friend Luis is from, to celebrate the birthday of his hometown.
5. Finish and present the grant proposal for Piriati Embera and hopefully have some teacher trainings set up for them.
6. Finish and submit grad school applications.
7. Just enjoy every minute of my last 40 days here!

I'll see many of you really really soon! :)

Cuidate.

wait...it's almost august?!

I found myself asking that question all the time during my sweet summers between school years. And here I am, asking it again. Where the heck does time go when you're really enjoying it?? I can't believe it's already been almost 7 weeks since I last updated--it's certainly been action-packed!

Feria de Artesanias
The national artisan's fair was held in Panama City June 15-19. Hundreds of vendors packed Atlapa Convention Center with their traditional crafts ranging from molas to jewelry to intricately painted feathers to wood carvings and more. I went Friday night with my friend Josh and met up with his girlfriend Isis who was working the event. She walked us around and I was immersed in sensory overload. There was traditional music playing and groups performing traditional dances, a man was walking around selling freshly made coconut ice cream, the back area was packed full of vendors selling greasy and succulent street food (I had a chicken tamale and some chicharrones--fried pork rinds--mmmm). Pretty sure Anthony Bordain would have been in heaven. I was in too much sensory overload to actually buy any crafts that night; so I went back the next night with my friend Jenny. I found some very cool mola pillow covers for myself as well as a few little gifts for family and friends. I also found out there will be another fair at the end of October so I'll have one more chance to be thrown into this culture before I leave in November.

Ziplining
I have always, always wanted to go ziplining. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, you put on a harness similar to rock climbing gear, hook yourself onto a cable and go flying through gorgeous mountain scenery. Jenny told me at the artisan fair that she would be going with a group of friends the next morning and invited me to tag along. Of course I said "Absolutely!" We packed into a cargo van with about 10 other young professionals and drove about an hour to an area between Colon and Portobelo on the Caribbean side. We took a very hilly side road where we were surrounded by lush green forests. We ended up at a wood pavilion where we unloaded and hung out for an hour or so before gearing up for ziplining. We went on a course that had 9 different lines. There were platforms built around the mid-section of towering trees and we flew from platform to platform on the line. On the very last line I did the superman technique where you hook to a guide and fly with your stomach parallel to the forest floor and your arms stretched out--I felt like superwoman for sure. It was one of the coolest things I've ever done. Coming down from that high we took inner tubes in a river and floated down and then jumped from a rope swing, 15 feet down into the river. It was the perfect getaway from the city...thanks for the invite Jenny!!

Turning 23
My 23rd birthday was on June 25th. This was the first time I had ever celebrated my birthday away from friends and family. But my Panama friends/family did a great job making it special for me! On Thursday the 23rd I was surprised with a cake and little mini party at CELI--thanks Christine for organizing that, and also thanks to Luis, Josh, Dora, Temy, Isabel and all the CELI teachers for being there to help me celebrate! The next night I met up with many of my other friends at Cedros (one of my fave little restaurants in Panama) and we had food, a little hookah, and I had some birthday flan :) Gracias a mis amigos en Panamá!!

Montevideo: Mid-year Fulbright Conference
Drew and I flew to Montevideo, Uruguay on June 25th for a conference with ETAs based in Argentina, Costa Rica and Uruguay. We arrived in Montevideo at 1230 am on June 26, but they hadn't changed their date stamps in immigration yet so my passport is stamped with my birthday :) We arrived at a very nice hotel and crashed pretty quickly after arrival. After all it was about a 7-hour flight! We were the first Fulbrighters there, the others wouldn't arrive until the next night, so the first day we spent just walking around the city. The whole conference was so refreshing on many different levels:

1. It was cold!!! Uruguay is on the other side of the equator so they are in the middle of winter. In the morning it would be about 32 and would get up to about 50 during the day. Drew and I obviously don't have much cold-weather clothes, so we were still a bit chilly in our jeans and hoodies. But honestly, it felt kind of great to be cold.

2. Culture, culture everywhere! There were cafes, and bookstores, and little diners and pastry shops and coffeeshops and gorgeous theaters and old churches and quiet streets with parks. We went to the symphony; we ate cute candlelit dinners; we saw a gay pride party in the middle of a plaza. It was just so wonderful.

3. Public transit! Panama is working on its public transit system--Martinelli rolled out 100 new Metro buses a couple weeks ago and they're in the process of constructing some of the main subway stops. However, the streets of Panama are still packed with Diablo Rojos (the diesel exhaust-spitting, brightly painted, sometimes dangerous, converted school buses). Montevideo, on the other hand, had a detailed, easy-to-use public bus system, the streets were mostly quiet, drivers followed traffic laws, pedestrians were given the right of way to cross and I only heard people honking a couple different times. It was a great break for my ears.

4. Colleagues in the flesh and blood. It's one thing to know, on paper, that there are other people around the world in the same position, having similar struggles/challenges/successes; but to actually talk face-to-face and share stories and pictures and advice with these people is completely different. I was honest about how my time as an ETA in Panama has been filled with struggles and I've worked to overcome those struggles and through that process I have grown and made this experience a positive one for myself. Many of my colleagues were surprised by the challenges I've faced and gave me kudos for sticking with it and getting through it--that was really great encouragement.

5. Community involvement. We spent one of our days at a high school called Liceo Jubilar where we did different ice-breaker activities, gave a short presentation about US culture, listened to a presentation about Uruguay culture, made homemade gnocchi (it's tradition to eat gnocchi on the 29th of every month there) and chocolate chip cookies with the students. It was a lot of fun and a wonderful way to exchange culture.

6. Relaxation. Fulbright treated us very well for this conference. We stayed in a nice hotel with kick ass breakfast (eggs, fruit, yogurt, dulce de leche to spread on your toast!!, arroz con leche, etc mmmm), we were treated to a city tour, some very nice meals and we also had free time. One night we went out to a great little restaurant where we drank sangria and I ate a chivito--perhaps one of the most delicious dishes ever: steak, bacon, a fried egg, fries, lettuce, tomato and potato salad...yummmmm. Our last day was spent at Estancia Siglo XX. This was heaven on earth. We knew it was going to be a good day when our bus was met at the entrance by a man dressed as a gaucho, carrying an Uruguay flag and escorted us to the ranch where waiters held trays of wine. There were green, rolling hills (very Iowa-esque!), horses, alpacas, farm dogs, hammocks between trees, a little pond, a fire going in the ranch and wine flowing and delicious food all day. Our lunch consisted of wine, salad (with arugula!!! I was really excited to eat arugula), cheese, french bread, roasted vegetables, MEAT (Uruguayans eat a ton of red meat--that's their thing, and I'm so glad it is), and a delectable dulce de leche cake with fresh whipped cream for dessert. We were all woozy with happiness and many of us plotted to try to stay at the Estancia, but alas we eventually had to get back on the bus. We drove to Punta del Este--normally has 20,000 people, in the summer months the population jumps to 200,000! We went to a famous beach where there is a sculpture of a hand sticking through the sand.

Drew and I flew back to Panama on a red-eye flight that night. Thanks fellow Fulbrighters, presenters, the organizers at Liceo Jubilar and especially the Uruguay Fulbright commission for planning and organizing a perfect 5 days in a beautiful country.

Meeting the Sobrino
I had 24 hours to re-group, unpack and re-pack before I headed back to the good ol USA for some family time, 4th of July celebrations, and most importantly meeting my nephew for the first time! Things I noticed that I missed about the US (other than my family): not taking taxis, walking safely, quiet streets, limited/no traffic, TARGET!!!--I had no idea I loved that store so much!, good beer on draft and no ants inside. It was a really relaxing week spent running errands, hanging with the babe, seeing my mom and David for the first time in six months, spending time with Jack (including helping him celebrate his 23rd bday!) and meeting up with Lea from my Galapagos study abroad! By the end of my week in Charlotte I really didn't want to leave; I was pretty nervous about coming back to Panama and getting into a funk because I had had such a nice time stateside. However, I got right back into the swing of things here and while I, of course, miss Jack and friends/family, I'm the happiest I've been here.

Mi Prima Laura Me Visitó
My cousin Laura flew into Panama just a few days after I returned from Charlotte. Laura is my mom's sister's daughter, she recently graduated from high school and will be a freshman at Tulane in New Orleans this fall (can't wait to visit her for Mardi Gras!). Laura and I spent many trips together when we were younger-I was often invited on their annual American Library Association conference trip from everywhere to San Francisco to Orlando and a Midwest trip to Mt. Rushmore. I was excited for Laura to come here and see the highlights. Her first morning was beautiful--the sun was shining, the sky was blue, it wasn't too hot so we took off for Parque Omar. That weekend was "Día del Niño y la Niña" (Children's day) and there was an adorable carnival set up with bumper cars, a carousel, a mini roller coaster and booths with games and activities. We soaked in a bit of the nostalgia and hit the walking path. When we had about 10 minutes left in our walk we noticed dark clouds in the distance but I figured we had enough time to finish and get back to the apartment...wroooong. Within a couple minutes a massive downpour was upon us. We tried to stand against a wall and under a tree for shelter but we were just getting soaked. So we continued to walk, our shoes got heavier as they filled with water, we passed little kids in ponchos who pointed and laughed at us--we looked like we jumped into a swimming pool fully clothed. This was actually my last experience in Parque Omar with it right outside my door because I moved that afternoon (more on that later). On Saturday, Laura and I went to the canal, Cerro Ancón and the Artisan's Market. In the afternoon we went to the VIP showing (meaning waitresses and your own leather recliner) of Harry Potter. That night we had dinner in Casco. Sunday was finally a gorgeous day so we took the ferry and spent the day on Isla Taboga where we soaked up a lot of sun, walked around a bit and then returned to the city later in the afternoon. We decided to cook tacos for dinner and bake brownies for dessert. Monday Laura helped me get a little more organized/settled in my new place and we went for a lovely hike at Parque Metropolitano where we had panoramic views of the city. Tuesday, her last day, she came to CELI with me and we played Catchphrase with the English club students, she helped me with the Access students and sat in on the conversation class. Thanks so much for taking a week out of your summer vacation to visit me, Laura. I had a really really great time showing you Panama: The Abridged Version :)

Other Panama Updates
Like I mentioned, I moved to a new place! The apartment I was living in is owned by Latina and is for the Senior Fellow (Christine's position). Christine is leaving in a few weeks and a new fellow will be coming so the apartment needed to be clear and ready for her to move in. I'm now renting a place (scored a killer rent deal!) in a 23-floor building with a gym, pool, balcony with spectacular views of the city, king-size bed and a flat screen TV. The building is within walking distance of one of my favorite areas of the city, Via Argentina, which is also where a lot of my friends live. It is also on Tumba Muerto, the main road that goes right to Latina. Speaking of....Panama City introduced a new public bus system! They rolled out 100 new, air-conditioned, Volvo buses with a route right on Tumba Muerto, in front of where I live, stopping in front of the university for a whopping...25 cents! The first day I tried to take it I waited for more than 30 minutes without seeing one, but I was successful in my following two attempts. I feel great being in my own place, walking and taking the bus--I feel much more independent and in the groove of things, as if I'm finally connected here.

Exciting Stuff Coming Up
1. I started work with the Embera community. Their indigenous language is not formally taught in schools and is therefore being lost. They predict that if it's not introduced to schools it will be lost within this generation...scary stuff. So this past Monday I met with the community president and one of the teachers who leads informal, one-hour lessons to about 20 kids on Saturdays and Sundays. We decided that given the limited time I have left in Panama, how I can best help them is getting them organized, nailing down their goals and producing a formal document that they could use to lobby for support and resources. I will hopefully go back to the community at least a few more times to meet with all of the teachers and the community chief to meet these goals.

2. My mom, David, Kelly and Wes will be here in 19 days!! We have quite the itinerary planned, complete with: taking a boat through the canal, a few days in the Pearl Islands, seeing the sites of the city and where I work and spending a few days in a beautiful apartment in Casco. I can't wait for them to finally see this life of mine firsthand!

3. I have 93 days left in Panama...WHAT?! My departure date was moved to November 1st because there are so many holidays/everything is closed down the first two weeks in November here. So I'll be flying back to Chicago on the 1st, hoping to see as many of my college friends as possible that night and then going back to Iowa on the 2nd. I cannot believe it. As you know, my first three months were a tough adjustment and time crept along. But ever since I've really started enjoying myself here time has absolutely flown! I'm looking forward to getting back, being with Jack and family/friends and starting my next chapter (entering a Latin American studies MA program in fall 2012). But now that I'm finally actually settled and happy here there will be things I'll miss for sure. However, I've still got a full three months to enjoy it--including a trip to visit Drew in David and Chiriqui, hopefully hiking Volcan Baru, seeing some of the World Baseball Championships at the end of Sept/early Oct, and likely seeing Ricky Martin in concert in October!

I apologize for this crazy long delay. Time flies when you're having fun :)

Cuídate.

la mitad: assessing the first 5 months of my 10-month grant en la República de Panamá

I'm exactly at the mid-point of my Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship. I thought this would be a good time to do a midterm assessment of sorts looking at all the aspects of the experience so far: cultural adjustment, teaching, traveling, making friends, and goals I still have yet to achieve.

Cultural Adjustment
I did not expect nor had I ever experienced the kind of culture shock that hit me the first couple months I was in Panama. I struggled finding a place to live, getting in to a routine, feeling comfortable, making friends and just being happy. While the first couple months were some of the more difficult, I know that I grew more emotionally and developed a kind of strength that can only come through a struggle like that. I'm really glad I won't ever have to go through those two months ever again but I'm really proud of myself for getting through and for becoming a better, stronger person because of it. I still don't always feel super connected to Panama but this is my life right now and this is an incredible opportunity that I won't ever get to relive.

I also had a tough time adjusting to Panama's Spanish dialect. My ears are getting more and more used to it and sometimes I find myself cutting my words so that I'm better understood by locals. I'm still not as immersed in the language as I was hoping/expecting to be; but hopefully as my friend network continues to expand and I start doing some more volunteering that will change.

Teaching
Other than being thrown into a new culture, the biggest change I've experienced is becoming a teacher. When I was in middle school and high school I liked the idea of being an English teacher (writing and literature, not ESL) but once I got to college I completely abandoned that idea. Well, turns out my middle/high school instincts might have been right. I really enjoy teaching. I've been introduced to the intricacies of lesson planning, classroom management, pair work, group work, pronunciation techniques and the affective filter. My goals are to be as prepared as possible for each lesson through a plan that follows the SIOP model, to catch pronunciation and grammar points and address them as they come up, and to help my students feel comfortable and excited about learning. I'm fortunate to be working with a number of students who are diverse in their age, socio-economic background and level of English. I'm still co-teaching the conversation course, occasionally helping in an intro course, working with Access students and the CELI English club finally has a few committed students! We play a lot of games (Apples to Apples, word puzzles, hang man, story-telling scenarios, catch phrase, etc) just to get them thinking in and using English for one hour 3 days/week.

What I love most about teaching is seeing my students excited to learn and seeing them improve so drastically, so quickly, right in front of my eyes. While I love the challenge of working with a spectrum of levels, this teaching experience has reinforced that I want to teach but at a higher level. I want to spark the same passion and excitement for Latin American cultures in college/university students. I'm starting to get more of an idea of what I want my focus to be for graduate school. I have been interested in looking more closely at indigenous groups in Latin America and this experience has triggered an interest in languages. At this point, I think I'd like to combine those three areas and look into the ways maintaining an indigenous language has the ability to both empower and inhibit a group of people. The University of Texas, University of Wisconsin, University of Arizona and Georgetown University are all on my list of places to study. I'm particularly attracted to UT because of its flexibility and because of CILLA (Center for Indigenous Languages of Latin America). CILLA could hopefully offer me the opportunity to learn one (or more!) indigenous language and explore the effect it has on its people.

Traveling
Panama is an absolutely beautiful country and I have been fortunate to see a lot of it in the first half of my grant. Whether it's been a weekend trip to Santa Clara beach, Playa Malibu/Chame, El Valle or San Blas or a longer time spent in Bocas del Toro, Isla Grande and Playa Bonita I have seen beautiful beaches, gorgeous mountain settings and gone island-hopping in the Caribbean. I've used one of Panama's domestic air carriers; experienced the small, oversold, $3.00 buses; and crammed way too many people in an SUV. I'm lucky to have found a living situation in the first part of my grant that has afforded me the opportunity to see this gorgeous country.

In the next half of my grant I'll be doing more traveling. At the end of the month I'm going to Montevideo, Uruguay! This will be my first time out of Panama since I arrived in January and I'll be meeting up with about 20 Fulbright ETAs based in other countries. We'll be giving short presentations; the topics assigned to me are "Best Practices in Formal and Informal Teaching Settings" and "How to Encourage Speaking and Writing in English"---both very broad, I know. I plan to focus on the importance of lesson planning for the first presentation and will introduce some of the activities we've used in CELI English club for the second. We'll also be having general discussions on the successes and challenges we've faced, will attend English language teaching seminars and will (hopefully!) have some time to see a bit of Montevideo.

From July 2-10 I will be in the good ol' U.S.of A! I wasn't planning on returning to the States at all during my grant but when my mom offered to fly me to Charlotte to see her, my stepdad David, my sister Katie, my brother-in-law Joel, my boyfriend Jack and my NEPHEW Quin I really couldn't resist the offer. I'm planning on enjoying less-polluted air, going on walks without getting honked at, grilling daily, sleeping without ear plugs and hanging out with Quin as much as possible. Side bonus: my friend Lea from my Galapagos study abroad just moved to the Charlotte area so we're going to get together for a mini reunion! I think the week with family and friends back on U.S. soil will be just the refresher I need to help me re-focus and prepare for the final 4 months of my grant.

My cousin Laura is planning to visit me in Panama shortly after I get back from the States. I'm excited to show her a bit of the city and just spend some time with her as she recently graduated from high school and will start at Tulane in August--way to go Laura!

My mom, stepdad David and our friends Kelly and Wes are coming to visit for the last 10 days of August and we're planning to rent a house on Isla Contadora which is part of the Pearl Islands (where some seasons of Survivor have been filmed!) in the Pacific Ocean. Between September and October I'm planning a visit to see my friend/ETA counterpart in David, Panama. I want to see his site and travel to Boquete and Volcan which are, from what I hear, gorgeous mountainous regions.

By the end of my 10 months here I think I will have seen the major geographic highlights of this tiny country!

Making Friends
One of the toughest challenges of the first two months was dealing with the feelings of isolation and loneliness. I never knew those feelings could be so overwhelming in a city of over 1 million people. But once I put on a cute purple skirt and proudly introduced myself to complete strangers at a networking event in early April, I expanded my network by about 20-fold. I have a wonderful group of friends in the city that keeps growing. Just last weekend I had an action-packed weekend in El Valle with a new group of people that consisted of ultimate frisbee in the pouring rain, a party at a stunning house, talking, laughing, cramming 11 people in a car built for 8, eating at Quesos Chela (best cheese empanada of my life) and watching one of my friend's American football game.

Of course I'd still like to have more Panamanian friends but whether they're Panamanian or not, I'm just glad to have a fun, outgoing, interesting group of people to share exciting adventures with.

Goals for the Second Half
1. Continue all of the above. First and foremost I want to continue to make strides toward becoming a great teacher, sharing and exchanging culture, seeing the beauty of Panama and keep expanding my friend group.
2. Speak more Spanish! While I love my English-speaking friends and my job that revolves around English, I'm not forced to speak enough Spanish. Through more Panamanian friends and being a little more outgoing with the language, I think I can work on my fluency.
3. Find a side project to get more involved in the community. I'm hoping to do some volunteer work or maybe even some informal research work on my days off of work. I'd like to work with indigenous groups and/or women and children, if possible. Making this extra commitment will also help me feel even more connected to Panama.
4. Try to nail down what I want to study in grad school and where I want to go. The three aforementioned goals will all contribute to the achievement of this goal but I think I'm already on track to meeting it.

As up and down, back and forth, twisting/turning experience as this has been so far, I wouldn't change a minute of it. The highs and lows are what have sparked such emotional and professional change that I couldn't obtain in any other way. Thank you for joining me on this journey: for offering advice, looking at my photos, listening to me vent and just checking in. Your support really means more than you know.

Cuídate. Nos vemos en 5 meses!

lengua sin palabras

Watch this awesome video on the meaning of a number of Panamanian gestures. Another one the guy doesn't cover is this:
That means you're cheap. Don't wanna be cheap. I've really been noticing the "over there" lip gesture. It's hilarious. And awesome.

Disfruta!

gracias a mis estudiantes

I just finished up morning conversation class with Lurlyne. She was my only student from Conversation One to join me for Conversation Two so we have more of a private tutor class. I was a little disappointed that none of the other 4 of 5 students could join us again, however I'm really proud of Lurlyne for showing such dedication. Lurlyne manages the front desk at a dental office (her husband went to dental school at Creighton) and they have a number of American patients. She has a 16-year-old daughter that wants to go to college in the States. Lurlyne is here for those two factors: she wants to be able to communicate clearly, effectively and fluently with her American patients and she wants to help her daughter with the college application/selection process. She has such positive energy, she always comes in with a bright smile and she is always so grateful for the two hours we spend together. She has improved so much since we started working together at the end of March. She is no longer making many of the errors she made before, she thinks thoroughly about what she wants to say before she says it, and her confidence has soared.

Lurlyne and the Access students always remind me why I'm here: to have a positive effect on the lives of Panamanians through English language instruction and cultural exchange. I always walk away from these classes feeling happy, energized and grateful. Gracias a todos mis estudiantes; uds. me enseñan más que saben. Thanks to all my students; you all teach me more than you know.

san blas, kuna yala: real life corona ad

The picture says it all, doesn't it?

I spent Friday morning - Sunday evening in paraíso (paradise). Some of my friends had organized a trip and I jumped at the opportunity to go; I'd been wanting to go to San Blas since I arrived in Panama...and all the hype and expectations did not disappoint. We woke up before the sun on Friday, squeezed into a LandCruiser, and were off. San Blas is north and east of Panama City on the Caribbean side. We took the highway for about an hour and a half and the last 45 minutes or so were spent on a roller coaster of a road. We were winding around mountains, taking sharp turns, speeding down steep descents and crawling up steep ascents. We stumbled out of the car when we finally reached the unloading point, all of us at least slightly woozy from the theme park ride. We waited at the edge of the water under a little hut for about 45 minutes before a boat arrived to take us to the island. Even though the boat ride was packed and I was drenched with salt water by the end of it, it was absolutely mesmerizing. Everywhere I turned there was another tiny island full of palm trees and a white sand beach in the middle of sparkling, teal blue water. Remember the old school Microsoft screen saver of an island like those I just mentioned? Apparently that photo was taken in San Blas.

The San Blas, or Kuna Yala, islands are an autonomous "comarca" of Panama. The Kuna Yala indigenous people occupy about 50 of the 350 islands in the area but have control over all of them. The Kunas believe strongly in the four key elements of the environment: earth, wind, water and fire. The Kuna women are easily identified by their traditional dress: they wear a shear blouse connected to a mola (multi-layer, hand-stitched material consisting of animal designs and geometric shapes) and a patterned tapestry as a skirt. Many of them also wear a gold ring in the center of their nose.

Our group stayed on Franklyn/Tony Island. It's called that because those are the two owners. It's split down the middle, complete with a chain link fence; Franklyn owns and runs a hostel of huts on one side and Tony does the same on the other side. We stayed on Tony's side. This was one of the most economical vacations I've ever taken. For all transportation (car and boat), two nights in a hut, all meals (including lobster for dinner one night!), snacks and entrance fees I only spent $120.

There were many groups of young Israelis staying on the island and there were also some really cool North Americans. I spent a good amount of time getting to know awesome people from California, Michigan and Canada. We spent our days laying in the sun on the beach and shade of palm trees, soaking in the beautiful water, playing scrabble, listening to music, and just hanging out. We actually all met up again last night (their last night in the city) for some DELICIOUS (and cheap!) food at Sabor de la India. A new friend, Courtney, and I shared butter chicken, naan and samosas. My bill was a mere $7. So awesome.

This whole weekend was the perfect way for me to clear my head and get a little perspective on this adventure of mine. I'm living in a beautiful country with so much history and so many cultures. I'm glad to have the opportunity to take advantage of seeing and experiencing the diverse peoples and places within this culturally-packed country of only 3 million people.

Now that I'm 3 shades darker and genuinely content, it's time to get back to work. I'm no longer teaching the morning conversation class--only 1 of my students signed up for the second class :( so she's switching to the night class. I'll be team-teaching that class with my friend, Josh. I'm planning on restarting the faculty conversation club next week--I'm cautiously hopeful on this one, though. It's been pushed back by the participants for about 3 weeks now. So we'll see. I'm taking a bit of a break from Access this week because the students have exams. The midway point of my grant is in 2 weeks...CRAZY. Next time I'll post a midterm evaluation.

Until then...

Cuídate.

vacaciones con jack y mi padre, mal día, oportunidad nueva

Mal día
Jack left on Friday after a little over 3 weeks with me. My dad left yesterday morning after 5 days together. Yesterday was the "mal día" (bad day). April was the best month that I've had here so far. I finally got in to a routine working with adult students in CELI and high school kids for Access; I made some cool new friends; I saw Shakira in concert; Jack came and we went on our first real vacation together and spent time just being normal; my dad came to see my Panamanian life firsthand; and then yesterday it's like I was startled awake from a great dream that I never wanted to end. I don't know how much of April's perfection was all of those fun adventures, being with the love of my life and sharing this journey with him, getting in to a routine or what but I finally felt great here. I was, maybe for the first time since this adventure started, 100% happy. And then yesterday hit me like a ton of bricks across the face. I feel guilty for feeling "off." I know this is a great opportunity and I know there are thousands of people who would trade places with me; but I guess we all have our off moments, right? Part of me can't believe I've already been here over 4 months. And, for the last couple days, part of me can't believe I still have 6 months to go. I will continue to make this the most positive experience I can. I will go to work and see tangible change happen in front of my eyes; I will start to learn more about the culture here (I might try to do some research on some of the many indigenous groups of Panama); I will do the next crazy thing with my new friends; I'll do all of that because that's who I am and that's what this experience is about. Sorry for the "moment," I think I'm trying to convince myself of all these things as I write them to you.

I realized after a vent session last night that, I apologize for sounding painfully selfish, this journey is mine and it is about me. Sure, I'm doing my best in the classroom and trying to have a positive effect on the people I meet here, but my students, my friends, my colleagues and this experience as a whole are having more of an impact on me than I could ever imagine having on them. After a little over 4 months here, I'm starting to be a confident teacher, I'm more assertive, I'm more outgoing, I'm getting better at being by myself and I'm trying to take advantage of new opportunities.

Now for the good stuff.

3 semanas con mi amor
I left you with a cliffhanger from my last post: our journey to El Valle. Some friends of mine invited us to tag along for a one-night stay in El Valle. I had heard a lot of great things about this area so we jumped at the chance. Jack and I hitched a ride with Alex, May Ling and Felicidad. Alex is one of the few people I've met here with a car; but alas, he moved back to England shortly after we returned from El Valle. Anyway, we drove about two hours west to the beautiful mountainous region of El Valle. The air was crisp and clean, there was almost no traffic and at night we could see every star in the sky. We stayed at La Casita, a camping hostel. They provided tents and breakfast for only $15/per person. We spent that Saturday afternoon exploring the area, hiking, and swimming in ice-cold natural pools. That night there was a music event at the hostel. People brought any instrument they knew how to play and just jammed. I think there was a scheduled list of events but when the power went out it turned in to an all-night jam session. Pretty sweet.

We woke up the next morning and couldn't find Alex anywhere. Knowing that we had to get back that day (as we left for Isla Grande the following morning) and that he was our ride, we went on a trek in to town to search for him. I spotted his car parked outside a restaurant and he happened to be crossing the street as we got closer. He told us he wanted to stay another night, so that left Jack, May Ling and I to fend for ourselves for a ride home. Jack and I decided on the bus because they're cheap, and frequent. We stood in line for almost an hour with about 150 others waiting to go back to the city and boarded the small bus made for about 30 people, but it's Panama so about 40 people got on. We were traveling back to the city on Easter Sunday so a 2-hour trip actually took over 3 hours with traffic. To make it even more exciting one of the passengers brought a stowaway bird...logically. We didn't realize this until about an hour into the ride when there was a loud screeching sound and feathers flapping; oh, duh, I always bring my pet macaw on the bus with me. Right.

The next morning Jack and I were picked up and driven 2 hours north toward the Caribbean. A small boat took us from just outside the town of Portobelo to Bananas Resort. It's a quaint, 35-room hotel. There are three rooms in peaked roof houses; two on the bottom, one on top. Jack and I had a room at the top of one of the houses complete with a hammock on the balcony. The highlights of our trip include: delicious food, 4 pm margaritas daily, pool time, beach time, a hike to the other side of the island, paella, Panamanian beer, me dominating Jack in ping pong (twice), friendly staff, time together, beautiful sunsets, sleeping in, more food and more time relaxing together. It was the perfect first vacation.

We came back to reality after five wonderful, sun-filled days to have a last supper for Alex. We met up with my friends at Beirut, a delicious Lebanese restaurant, went out for drinks and watched Alex and Jack play chess for over an hour (zzZZZzzz...). It was fun to be back with friends, though. The next day, Jack got to experience the canal and on Sunday we spent the afternoon at the causeway. Monday, May 2nd was Panama's Labor Day so we had a picnic in Parque Omar and just hung out together. Jack came to school with me Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. On Tuesday he helped in my conversation class and the other two days we worked with the Access students. When Jack asked some of the Access students if they liked me and thought I was a good teacher, one of them responded with, "She is very beautiful." Ha. I guess I'll take that.

We went to a networking event at a Mexican place with Laura (research fulbrighter) on cinco de mayo. I didn't do a ton of networking, mostly just saw my new friends (many of whom I met at the previous event), drank some celebratory margaritas, then had dinner with Jack. On Friday night my friend Josh and his girlfriend Isis invited us over to their place for a traditional Panamanian dinner; Isis made oven-cooked chicken, rice, a salad and everyone's favorite, plantains. I finally figured out what makes those taste so good, the recipe is so simple: plantains, tons of sugar, tons of butter and a little water. Yum. After a delicious meal, a couple bottles of wine, great conversation, and some sports-watching, Jack and I headed back to the apartment. We were bums the rest of the weekend. Monday we went to the Centro Municipal de Artesañias so Jack could get some souvenirs as it was his last day in the city.

My dad arrived on Tuesday. Jack and I met him at the airport where we were picked up by a driver for our hotel, the Intercontinential at Playa Bonita...I do NOT recommend it. Before we got to the hotel we stopped to pick up some beer and snacks so we wouldn't get gouged all the time at the hotel. When we arrived, supplies in hand, one of the supervisors, instead of greeting us and welcoming us to his hotel, firmly told us we would have to keep our recently purchased goods in storage for our stay there. From that point on we plotted on how to get our things out of storage. Unfortunately the rainy season decided to kick in full swing during our few days at this beach hotel so we were stuck hanging out in the room, reading and watching movies. To make matters worse, there were a number of businesses there for private conferences and they closed off 2 of the 3 restaurants for their dinner parties. Overall the service was pretty bad, the prices were insane, and of course the rain didn't help our spirits. We did, however, get our contraband items out of storage on the second day so that was a small victory.

We left the hotel Friday morning to take Jack to the airport. I was really sad to see him go because we had such a perfect few weeks together. Hopefully he'll be back again at the end of July/early August for another visit. Thanks for coming, mi amor; you made me feel happy and comfortable and just normal again. Now, please come back :)

2 días más con mi padre
After dropping Jack at the airport, my dad and I returned to the city where we checked him in to the hotel. This time, instead of telling him he couldn't bring in his gin, the bell hop offered to fill up the bucket of ice for him...much better start. We relaxed and had lunch at a restaurant nearby and then went to see the canal. It was another gloomy day, but wasn't nearly as rainy as the days before. Serendipitously, there was a ship registered in Hong Kong passing through the canal as we were on the observation deck. There was also a Panamax ship overflowing with containers holding who knows what. That night I showed my dad my apartment and then we had dinner with Christine and her friend.

The next day the sun proved it does exist in Panama! Finally blue skies and sun for an entire day. I took my dad to see Latina where he got to meet Luz (the director/facilitator of Access), Isabel (teacher friend), Luis (Christine's admin assistant) and Patricia (director of a private school and creator of a methodology being used by Christine for a project for 11-year-olds learning English on Saturdays). From there we went to Cerro Ancon to look at the beautiful views of the city, then to the causeway where we walked around and eventually had lunch. We went back to the hotel for a siesta and that night had a date in Casco. We went around happy hour so he could see the area while there was still some sunlight, had a drink, then had dinner at Mostaza. It was a perfect last evening together. Thanks for including me in your western hemisphere trip, Dad. I'm really glad you got to see some of this adventure of mine.

Oportunidad Nueva
Today I had a meeting with a woman in Casco Antiguo. She would like me to work with some at-risk high school students that go to school in Casco. Many of them are from the areas bordering Casco (very poor, dangerous, violent, run by gangs, etc.) but attend school at Iglesia de la Merced in Casco. One day a week, she would like me to give reinforcement of what the students are already working on in their English classes. I'm still debating whether or not to take this on, so your comments/feedback are, of course, welcome.

En fin
Tomorrow I will finally be back in to my routine at CELI. I'm going in early to help Christine with some things, conversation club with the U. Latina faculty and Access in the afternoon. My conversation II class starts on Thursday morning. I have condensed my schedule down to Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays all day at CELI. That leaves Mondays and Fridays open for me to, maybe, work with the Casco kids and hopefully do some research on the indigenous groups of Panama. Vamos a ver. Thanks for reading, and thanks for your love and support. It really means a lot to know I have such a great, strong network willing to send me encouraging thoughts and positive vibes.

Un abrazo.

Cuídate.

shakira, nuevos amigos y la llegada de mi amor

Shakira

I couldn't resist seeing a Latin American superstar in Latin America. I convinced Christine she needed to come as well and we arranged for a driver knowing the traffic would be insane. When we arrived at Figali Convention Center on the causeway the parking lots were full of cars and people and grills cooking a variety of pre-concert sausages. Panamanians love their salchichas (hot dogs). The atmosphere reminded me more of a Big Ten football tailgate than a pre-concert party. Once we made our way through security we muscled our way toward the front of the standing-only section. Three local bands opened for Shakira. They didn't leave much of an impression on me because a). They weren't very good and b). They each only played one song. However, a 4-man boy-band did come out complete with cheesy choreography to match their cheesy lyrics; it was slightly reminiscent of the NSYNC/BSB craze from the 90s. Between the song of the third band and Shakira's opening we stood around waiting for over an hour (classic Latin America). People were getting restless and pushing and cheering for her. By the time she finally came out at 10 pm everyone freaked. The sections ahead of us had chairs so they stood on top of them causing more hostility within our section. They threw trash and cans and even a couple bottles while screaming expletives urging them to get off their chairs--all of the fuss was to no avail. I stood on my tip-toes to occasionally get a glimpse of Shakira but mostly just tried to watch from the screens. She sang all of her hits, brought a few girls on stage, danced like I've never seen anyone dance, never seemed out of breath (there had to be some lip-synching there) and the crowd responded. Every local knew every single word to every single song; they were completely enamored with her. It was a really really cool environment and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it. The next day I was a little sluggish at work (running on only 5 hours of sleep) but it was all worth it.

Nuevos Amigos

On Sunday April 17 I finally got an invitation from one of my students to come hang out with her, her brother and one of her friends. I had given my phone number and email to all of my students in January but hadn't heard from any of them until Andreina called on Saturday. She picked me up and we drove to the causeway. We talked in a mix of English and Spanish, walked around and then had dinner together at a restaurant near my house. It was so nice to finally feel welcomed by one of my students. Her friend Nataly that joined us is Ecuadorian so it was cool to talk about Ecuador and Galapagos a little bit too. Now, a highlight of the difference between my experience with the people of the two countries. Within a few hours of meeting them I was explaining how I would need a ride to the airport on April 20th to get Jack. Nataly said, "My father will do it." I said, "Oh, is he a driver?" She said, "No, I just know he'd like to do it." It was great to have a personal ride from a new friend to get Jack.

La llegada de mi amor

The next couple days were kind of a whir as I was anticipating Jack's arrival. When I finally saw him at the airport on Wednesday night it was kind of like a dream. I couldn't believe he was here after months of counting down to his trip. We timed his trip so that his first day here marked my first day of vacation. On Thursday I took him to my beloved Parque Omar, went swimming at Boris' place and then got together with a bunch of my friends to help welcome Jack to Panama. I was happy so many of my new friends came out to meet him and hang out with us at Los Cedros. Since I was hosting, I felt inclined to buy the drinks and hookah for the group and food for me and Jack. It was a shockingly low $30 for everything. Very fun night with fun friends. And the ETAs from Venezuela joined us for a couple hours. It was nice to share stories and experiences with them and reinforce that I'm not the only one going through a lot of what I've already experienced.

Panama City completely shuts down on Good Friday. I didn't even need my earplugs on Thursday night/Friday morning. My ears appreciated the vacation. Jack and I walked around the city for a while and felt like we were in a Zombie movie. We went to the mall and the only thing open there was the movie theater. We decided on RIO 3D and I missed the minor detail that it was in Spanish; Jack doesn't speak Spanish... Since it was an animated movie he was able to get the gist of everything and I would translate some of the details for him.

Vacation

I have more to tell you about Easter weekend including an adventure we took to El Valle. We had a great time there but some interesting stories arose within those 24 hours. Unfortunately for you, I have to leave you with that cliffhanger. Fortunately for me, I'm leaving in 15 minutes for vacation with Jack. We're heading up to Isla Grande (Caribbean side) for the next five days to soak up the sun on the beach and relax together. I'll be sure to post again next weekend about El Valle and Isla Grande.

Cuídate.

habla, habla, habla!

Over the last 10 days I've really started to get in to my new roles. Christine and I have established a great mentor-mentee relationship in CELI. I am leading a high-level, two-hour conversation class two days/week. Many of these students have an extensive travel background, high vocabulary and really just want to work on their accents, fluency and pronunciation. Our first class was March 31st. I only had two students, Lurlyne and Mabel, so we focused a lot on just getting to know each other and discussing greetings/introductions. A very interesting cultural conversation arose from this topic. In the States we show interest in new people by asking them a lot of questions related to their job, where they went to school, etc. In Panama, however, those questions are saved for the second or third meeting and upfront people are often asked more "personal" questions regarding their marital status, if they have children, etc. This discussion was like a smack in the face to me; I had been wondering why people felt cold on first meeting and why cab drivers always asked if I was married. Turns out this is cultural norm for them.

This week I had five more students and we had two action-packed days working on pronunciation of the -ed ending (passed, stayed, crashed, waited, etc) and -s, -es ending (stays, washes, sleeps, etc.). As native English speakers we don't consider these naturally-acquired skills. However, the -ed and -es endings are really difficult for non-native speakers, especially native Spanish speakers. We spent half of each class doing different practices for these pronunciations and they were so engaged. I told Christine after that I felt almost out of control of the class because they were so in to it and wanted so much information and so much practice. But, in a way, I kind of liked it because they were so excited. They all said that in every English class they'd ever had they had never learned the distinction of these sounds. These sounds are really important to English and especially to these students because they want to obtain a more native accent.

I also started the CELI conversation club and a conversation club for a few Latina faculty. The CELI club has had a couple dedicated students attend and we did similar activities to the conversation class (greetings/intros and pronunciation). For the Latina faculty, I'm meeting with four women three times each week. We have decided to have "Movie Mondays" with follow-up discussion on Wednesdays and Fridays. Since we're a group of women we're starting out with a chick flick (and I'm sure many more to come).

On Friday I went to my first class at Spanish Panama. The teacher was great and really just got us talking and helping us detect our errors. She also gave us some uniquely Panamanian words such as chombo and tinaca. Chombo is a derrogatory word used to describe a black Panamanian but it has an interesting linguistic story. The young men that worked and cleaned the bathrooms in the canal zone were often black and were called john boys. To the Panamanian ear this sounded like "chombo" (if you say one right after the other you can hear the similarity) and thus developed chombo. Tinaca is a word for the trash pick-up spot. A company that set up these spots was called Tin & Co, thus tinaca. Language is so cool.

Finally, a social life! I've spent the first three months here not knowing many people in their 20s. I've probably mentioned Christine in almost every post because I'm really grateful for her sharing her space with me and for being such a great mentor to me, but I have been in desperate need of friends my age. A fellow ETA in Costa Rica suggested I create a couchsurfing profile because she had been really successful meeting people in CR with it. Couchsurfing is sort of like facebook for hitchhiking. It's a network of people willing to host or looking to be hosted in countries and cities worldwide. I found Jessie on couchsurfing. I read that she and her Panamanian husband had moved here in June and that she did a Fulbright in Nicaragua a few years ago. I sent her a message right away and was relieved when she replied within 24 hours. She and Jorge had just purchased an apartment located right between my place and Universidad Latina and they invited me over as their first guest. As we were sipping cinnamon vanilla tea, I sort of unloaded on her (sorry Jessie!). I let her know how frustrating it had been to feel so alone here and how my program hadn't been exactly what I had imagined for the first 3 months. She was very sympathetic and shared similar stories of her first three months in Panama when she was unemployed and living at her new in-laws' home. She invited me to a networking event the following night at Casa Nikki--a posh bar at MultiPlaza Mall near my house.

I was determined to go to this event. Most of you know this is not really my thing. I don't feel super comfortable in a big room full of people I've never seen or spoken to in my life. But I pushed myself outside the box, went up to strangers, sparked conversations and met some really great (young!) people, including another Iowan! Nic is from Iowa, Jackie from Houston, Ana from Panama, Boris from Guadalupe and Alex from St. Louis. I spent a couple of hours there, sipped a couple mojitos and went home feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and excited to have met nice people who will hopefully become friends while I'm still here and even after I leave. Boris is hosting a pool party tomorrow that I'll go to and establish myself a little more with this new group.

The rainy season is here in full force, unfortunately. I didn't think it would start until May, but it seems to have started a little earlier than normal. The humidity has noticeably increased and the heavy showers in the afternoon are an indication that summer is officially over in Panama. Guess I'm going to have to get used to running through puddles, bringing an umbrella with me everywhere and sporting my bright green rain jacket (my graduation present will be used on a daily basis, Dad!).

A few things I forgot to mention in the last post:

1. LAS tests are DONE. These were the proficiency tests that the Access students took at the end of their program last year. With Christine, Isabel and Temi, I paged through hundreds of these tests grading dictations, multiple choice, sentence completion, picture descriptions and writing prompts. I have a whole new appreciation for teachers' work in grading tests. This was an insanely long process, but I finally got all the scores tabulated and they have been sent to a statistician in California for analysis. Too bad you can't grade language proficiency with ScanTrons...

2. Sra. Stiles was here! One of my high school Spanish teachers decided to spend her spring break in Panama and we spent a day together. We strolled around and had a nice lunch in Casco Viejo, I showed her the university and then we ate a great traditional dinner at Las Tinajas. We also got to see a performance of traditional Panamanian dance, music and dress. And I was dragged up on stage with one of the dancers. I wish I had the Latin instinct for rhythm but I think I'm just another white girl. Latinos move so effortlessly as if the music pulses through their bodies directing each movement with ease and finesse. I felt like I had a huge sign on my forehead that said "GRINGA." But I guess it was sort of fun; plus dancer that brought me up on stage had big brown eyes and a sweet smile that it was just hard to turn down. Don't worry Jack I love you dearly and he and I kept the arms'-length-apart-middle-school-dance rule.

3. Quinten is getting big! He's 9 weeks old and he's starting to fill out. He even has squeezable cheeks now :) I can't wait to scoop him up in December.

4. I'll be crashing in a new place for the last few months I'm here. Since this apartment is for the fellow (Christine's position) it has to be cleared for new fellow to move in when they start in August. Maybe one of my new friends from the networking event can help me find a place. Ideally, I'd like to land with one or two 20-somethings and just have a lot of fun my last 3.5 months here. But we'll see. I have until the end of July to figure something out.

5. I'm going to see SHAKIRA on Tuesday. I'm not going to bring my camera because I don't want it to get stolen/damaged so I'll try to take many mental pictures and describe the experience for you to the best of my abilities. I'm not a huge Shakira fan, but she's a Latin star and I'm in Latin America...couldn't let the opportunity slip away.

Cuídate.

la reúnion con el RELO, otro ETA, carnaval, visitantes, mi papel en la universidad

Our house on Isla Bastimento.

BFFs for nearly 23 years, reunited in Panama!

Post pig-out on Isla Taboga with Christine and Drew.

Christine introducing her baby: CELI!

Sorry guys...didn't realize it had been a month since I last updated! So for logic's sake, I'll report in chronological order.

Meeting the RELO, Wednesday February 23rd

Michael Rudder, the Regional English Language Officer for Mexico and Central America, was here the week of February 21 (the week after Access camp). I was fortunate enough to get to spend a little time with him. Thankfully I had his visit to look forward to because it was a really tough transition going from being so busy and inspired with the Access camp to coming back to the city and not having much to do. When I told Michael what I had been doing for the first 6 weeks of my time here (helping teach classes at Latina and Access camp) he was a little caught off guard by the teaching. He said, "Well do you want to be teaching?" Then he explained to me that the ETA program is misunderstood worldwide. He said our role isn't really to be in the classroom teaching as much as it is to do more extracurricular things around the language like: drama clubs, movie clubs, writing centers and writing contests, conversation tables, cultural presentations, etc. I was a little surprised to hear this but so excited at the same time. I definitely enjoyed connecting with my students, especially in the Written Communication II and III courses. I know I brought energy, excitement and passion in to the classroom and I know I had a positive impact on my students. However, the things Michael listed off just sounded like so much fun! And they also seemed like activities that would allow me to have a more far-reaching impact. So began the process of trying to get these ideas in motion...

I spent the next couple weeks talking with my contacts at the Embassy to try and get everything sorted out. They had me sign a contract before I spoke with Michael. This contract stated that up to 25 hours were to be spent in the classroom (language directly from the Fulbright ETA website). They're so adamant about me being in the classroom and following the guidelines of my contract that they weren't really listening to me when I was explaining the dysfunction of the situation. I was either teaching the entire course with limited assistance/supervision of a full-time faculty member or I was just sitting in the classroom. Overall I was feeling under-utilized and slightly bored. After many email and phone conversations, some quite emotional, I still didn't really feel like much was accomplished. I continued my pattern of going to the classes and doing what I could. I finally had a breakthrough when talking with my stepdad, David. He said, "Listen, just do what you went there to do. If they're not going to help you do that, then figure it out for yourself. If they get mad at you for simply trying to help them then solve the problem if it arises." I had been feeling like I needed permission and needed to jump through hoops. Well the bureaucratic process really hadn't worked for me up to this point so a couple weeks later I would finally take matters in to my own hands.

Drew's Arrival, Tuesday March 1st

Why did I wait a couple weeks to get started? Because I had visitors! Drew Haverly, the other Panama ETA arrived on Tuesday, March 1. I was so so so so so happy to see him and provide an informal in-country orientation for him that I, unfortunately, didn't really have. I met him at the airport and immediately saw in him what I know people could see in me just a couple months earlier. I could tell that he was in a bit of shock to be here. He and I had been preparing to come to Panama for nearly a year; for the planning to finally become reality was definitely shocking. I set him up on one of Christine's air mattresses in the apartment and this became his home for his first week in Panama. On Thursday I took him to the canal and my beloved Parque Omar and for a delicious Lebanese lunch at Los Cedros on Via Argentina. We went out in Casco Viejo that night to a great restaurant called Mostaza. It was a little pricier than we were prepared for but it was really delicious and I got to spend more time in Casco Viejo. That night we also met up with my dad's business friend Urbano for a couple drinks (I stuck with lychee martinis...so good!). We spent Friday relaxing, went to a friend's pool and just hung out.

CELI Opening, Wednesday March 2nd

Drew was off early in the morning for his meeting at the embassy. I spent the day at Latina helping Christine prepare for that afternoon's huge event: CELI ribbon-cutting. We re-arranged her office, made sure we had plenty of copies of informational brochures and just took in the moment that this was finally happening for her. Two member's of Latina's board, US Ambassador Phyllis Powers and Panama's Minister of Education were all in attendance for CELI's grand opening. There were also a number of TESOL teachers and embassy employees, and of course Drew and I there to support Christine and this huge project. There have been a couple other bi-national centers (which CELI will hopefully turn in to some day), but they have failed. Other countries in Latin America have had bi-national centers for 60+ years. Hopefully CELI will still be alive and thriving in 2071.

Carnaval, Saturday March 5th-Wednesday March 9th

People kept telling us to get out of the city, that the best parties were in the smaller towns, namely Las Tablas. Apparently Las Tablas Carnaval celebrations make Rio's Carnaval and New Olreans' Mardi Gras look tame. We decided to test the waters in the city, thinking that it couldn't be that bad here and not wanting to deal with the traffic caused by the mass exodus of people fleeing the city for celebrations. On Saturday the weather ended up throwing a kink in our plans. It was overcast in the morning and we had already planned on checking out the Cinta Costera (the coastline where all the Carnaval festivities were taking place) and after lunch the skies opened up with a torrential downpour. Luckily we had not yet ventured to the Cinta Costera and were instead holed up in the apartment. This gave Drew the opportunity to chat with his friends and family back home so we just took it easy and let the rain run its course. We would try Carnaval the next day. On Sunday we went to Atlapa Convention Center across from the Sheraton to check out an Afro-Antillean expo. We were both expecting a little more than what was there: it was an open room with tables along three walls and a stage in the center. A man was telling a story on stage. On one wall, trinkets were for sale and on the other 2 food vendors were set up. We walked around and decided to get a plate of food. We only spent about 2 hours there; there was not much to do or see which was kind of a let down. The weather had similar plans for this day so instead of trying Cinta Costera we went back to the apartment where I came down with a fever, chills, body aches, the works. I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening in bed.

We finally got down to Cinta Costera on Monday afternoon and realized why everyone told us to go out of the city. It was a total bust. It started with me getting felt up (seriously felt up) by a woman police officer--what kind of bomb could I possibly be hiding in my size A bra? The area was kind of deserted. There were a couple stages set up but no one was performing. The streets were lined with food vendors blasting their reggaetón music. Otherwise there were people walking around throwing bits of paper on each other and squirting passersby with water guns. The locals were right; it was kind of lame.

Christine, Drew and I originally planned to go to Contadora, Pearl Islands on Tuesday but didn't realize the ferry was already sold out. Instead we took a 45-minute ferry to Taboga Island. This was yet another thing people warned us about; some said we could spend our whole time in Panama and not go to Taboga and we wouldn't be missing a thing. This time, the peanut gallery was wrong. Taboga was beautiful. There were a lot of local people there enjoying the beach and the water. We got a couple hours of sun before more rain came through in the afternoon. That evening we walked around the town a little (reminded me a ton of San Cristóbal, Galapagos) and had a delicious dinner of prawns, shrimp, fried yucca and beer. It was a great day with two great people. We spent the last day off of Carnaval at Christine's friend Linda's place in Club de Golf. We went to the pool and hung out with her two kids.

Amigas y vacaciones! Wednesday March 9th-Saturday March 19th

On Wednesday night Susan Willey arrived! I met her at the airport and sat with her at dinner at the hotel. The next day, I took Drew to the bus terminal and wished him buen viaje as he began his journey to David (a city about the size of Cedar Rapids, about 7 hours away, and the location of his ETA program). I spent the rest of the day with Susan. I brought her to the university, showed her around and introduced her to Christine. From there we went to the Bahai center--an egg-shaped building at the top of a hill with gorgeous views and peaceful gardens. Then we went to Ancon: the highest point of Panama City where a giant Panama flag is flown. From there we had views of Cinta Costera, Casco Viejo, the causeway and the canal. We drove down and had lunch on the causeway and then got Susan situated for her next day transit of the canal. I took her to Mostaza in Casco Viejo that night for a lovely dinner. We had a couple glasses of wine, a delicious dinner, and wonderful conversation as we enjoyed the beautiful colonial scenery. Katharine arrived Friday night and after a day of showing her the city, we were off for vacation!

We flew to Bocas del Toro early Sunday morning. Bocas is a chain of islands near to the border of Costa Rica on the Caribbean side. When we arrived we dropped our bags at a restaurant, explored the town and purchased groceries for a week. A boat picked us up at 11 and took us 45 minutes to Isla Bastimento where we rented a 2-bedroom house for 4 nights. Our days consisted of: waking when we felt like it, reading, laying out on the beach, sea kayaking, swimming in very seaweedy but very clear water, margaritas at 4pm sharp, dinner and wine. It was the perfect break for all of us (even though you could catch Katharine with a 20 lb law book and legal pads strewn about). Our last two nights in Bocas (Thursday and Friday) were spent at Al Natural Resort: http://www.alnaturalresort.com/ We stayed in a hut on the water, showered with a view of the lush forest behind our cabin, and consumed delicious food, bottomless wine glasses and perfect maracuya (passion fruit) daquiris! Mealtimes were family-style so we got to know the other guests at the resort: there was a woman from Michigan and her Costa Rican husband, a number of people from Toronto, some from Berkley and Oakland, a couple from Argentina, and an American family living in Panama. It was great to get to know some of these other people and share travel stories. We said chao to Bocas on Saturday afternoon and flew back to Panama City. We had time for one more dinner before Katharine and her mom had to go to their airport hotel as they would fly back to CR early the next morning. Katharine and Susan: thank you so so so much for spending your vacation with me! It was great to have you and so fun to experience a new part of Panama with you.

New Role at Latina

As I said earlier, my meeting with Michael Rudder, the RELO, really inspired me to get some new projects going. My contact at Latina attended the International TESOL conference in New Orleans while I was on vacation. While she was there she met with a rep. from the US State Dept. who gave her a better idea of my program. State reinforced what I was trying to convey after my meeting with Michael. She agreed that my role would definitely be changing at the university.

Instead of leading classes and attending them on a daily basis, I will be asked to give special cultural presentations that tie in to the academic content of that class. For example, on Wednesday I gave a presentation on St. Patrick's Day to one of my Written Communication classes. The academic content area for that day was the comparison/contrast essay. I spent the first 45 minutes talking to them about St. Paddy's Day: the color green, the shamrock, the Saint himself, the parades, the food, the music, the parties, the river in Chicago and the high amounts of beverages consumed on this day. I included a couple great videos from the History Channel website as well as a youtube of an Irish-drinking song. It was a ton of fun for me and for the students. Then, the lead teacher introduced the academic content of comparison/contrast essay and the students had the rest of class to work on an essay comparing St. Patrick's Day to their Carnaval festivities. I will be doing other similar presentations as they come up in the future.

I will also have a consistent presence within CELI. I will be leading a conversation club for one hour, three days/week. The main goal of this club is to just get students talking! That's one of the hardest parts of learning a language so I'm hoping to create a comfortable, open environment so my students will feel confident to practice their target language. Our conversations will stem from the lessons taught in the classroom and will also be focused on cultural exchange. I'll also be providing individual and small group tutoring for CELI students. I'm starting tutoring on Monday with a couple professors. They want fast-track results so hopefully with 3 hours/week with me and an hour at conversation club they'll get the results they're looking for.

I'm still trying to get involved in Latina's English club. However, my contact at the university wants me to provide a conversation club for some faculty. We will meet for a couple hours a week just to talk and get the faculty working on their fluency and accents and exchanging culture. I would like to set up tutoring hours for the English students at Latina; finals are coming up and I know there are students that need a little extra help. Working on a time/venue for this project.

Finally, I will be assisting with Access. Their school-year program starts in 10 days. I will have a similar role with Access as I do with the Latina classrooms. I will be pulling out smaller groups and doing fun, interactive, cultural activities with them.

My role will be just like Michael and I discussed. I will be more of a cultural ambassador sharing my knowledge of US culture and the English language and hopefully learning as much as possible of Panama's culture and Spanish language from the students I work with. Those of you that know me well, know that I love having a schedule, I love having things to look forward to, and I love having an impact. I came here to have a broad positive impact on as many students as possible. I finally feel like these new roles will give me the power to accomplish that goal.

Miscellaneous updates

Just a quick update on my mentor, Alba. She is really struggling in these early stages of chemo and has since taken somewhat of a leave of absence. She will not be returning to the university for the rest of this term (which finishes in 1 month). Hopefully she'll be able to return for next term beginning in early May. Please continue to send positive vibes her way. For now, I've got a great mentor in Christine and am looking forward to working with the Access teachers.

My nephew, Quin, is now over 9 lbs and finally getting full cheeks! My sister is going back to work soon. Can't believe how fast these little ones grow. Also, congrats to Katie on being accepted in to the New Leaders program! You will make an incredible school administrator.

Feliz cumpleaños (happy birthday) to: my mom (March 8th), Katie (March 14th) and Katharine (March 25th). These are three really incredible women who have all inspired me in some way or another.

Jack will be here in exactly 26 days. We've been away from each other for nearly 3 months now; it's been tough but we've gotten through it. He'll be here for three weeks and is going to help me out with some of these projects. Can't wait to see the love of my life and share this experience with him :)

En Fin

Sorry for the epically long post and the one-month hiatus. It took me 2 days to write this, so I will definitely keep up with this beast better than I did for the month of March.

Cuídate.

alcanzado las metas

Goal: an aim or desired result; the destination of a journey. This week I arrived at my destination. Before I left I decided on one crucial goal: to have a positive impact on the lives of eager students through cultural and language exchange. I began achieving my most important goal at Access Summer Camp 2011. From 7am-11pm Monday-Friday I connected with 300 high school students from across the country. I was their teacher. I was their friend. I was their mentor. I was their teammate. These kids brought me to life. I was exhausted from spending 12+ hours outside in the sun, but as soon as I stepped in front of them to share my culture and my native language I was energized.

My lesson was on U.S. holidays and culture; our language/vocabulary emphasis was on "similar" and "different." My first group of students worked in pairs to explore U.S. holidays and decide if there were similar holidays in Panama and in what ways did they celebrate. Since Monday was Valentine's day, they also created and exchanged valentines. I worked closely with two Access teachers from Tuesday-Thursday, Amalia and Tatiana. They had great ideas of how to make the lesson more interactive. Instead of having the following groups write and discuss similarities and differences, we assigned each of them one holiday and they had to act it out for the rest of the group. It was so amazing to see the creativity of these kids. January 9th is día de los martires. This day honors the students that were killed by the U.S. while attempting to replace the U.S. flag with the Panama flag in 1964. My students decided this day was similar to Memorial Day in the States. For their drama, one group had 2 guys climbing up a tree with a construction-paper Panama flag. After climbing down they were "shot" by their group members and the two girls in the group started sobbing. Another group that was assigned Christmas had one of the guys put a plastic bag on his face for a beard, one of the students held his arms out to form a circular window while another threw pieces of leaves in front to represent snow. They may not have had all the necessary language skills to verbally present their holidays, but the whole group knew exactly what they were portraying through their creativity. They also attended sessions on values, language arts and culture, leadership, and health and fitness.

At one point, one of my students, Sara, just didn't have the words. You could see her mind whirring trying to come up with just a few English words but she couldn't. The stress eventually got to her and she broke down. Tears streamed from her eyes as she ran to the bathroom in embarrassment. I gave her a minute there by herself, but followed. We had a discussion, in Spanish, about how it's ok to make mistakes. I've been speaking Spanish for 8 years and I still don't speak it perfectly. I reminded her that we're all here for the same reason, to practice and get better with the help of each other. She gave me a big hug and a smile; I will never, ever forget that smile.

I also helped in recreational aspects...it was camp after all! The first night Todd and I worked with kids on the basketball court. Most of them had never played before so we worked on the basics: passing, catching, dribbling, close-range shots. Throughout the week I also helped with volleyball, played American football and helped with the kids' favorite activity: aerobics. We turned on music with a good beat and they all came out of their shells. We did basic step moves and I also added in some basic kickboxing that they seemed to really enjoy. We also watched two movies: We Are Marshall (mostly for the American football aspect) and Pursuit of Happyness. The kids were particularly inspired by Pursuit of Happyness. It's difficult to get 100+ kids focused on an English, Spanish-subtitled movie, but it was quiet for every minute of that movie.

They also participated in leadership activities that Access Youth Ambassadors and their Leader, Leonel, learned from their visit to the States last month. They spent time in New York, D.C., Michigan and Texas. They brought back some great, interactive, team-building and leadership activities that I was also given the opportunity to participate in.

On Wednesday, the US Ambassador to Panama, Phyllis Powers, visited the camp for a brief observation of our groups and to give a short talk to all of the kids. It was great that she included Access in her agenda. These kids are in a U.S.-funded program; but more importantly they're the future of Panama. Having the visible support of the U.S. embassy helps them realize just how important they are to Panama and to the world.

The teamwork between Tatiana, Amalia and I helped make educational component as effective and fun for the kids as possible. I also had the support of Christine who was leading a group with Fernando; Tevia: another American girl who's been teaching here since September; and Todd who was a great volunteer and driver home :) Of course there were logistical flaws, rain delays, schedule errors and sleepless nights (I was in a room of more than 60 teenage girls), but at the end of the day I know we made an impact on these kids. I've had facebook friend requests coming in all weekend and they've already created 2 different group pages for them to keep in touch. I'll be helping with their school-year program which starts in April. A group of them will come to Latina 3 days/week for 3 hours at a time. I'll be a classroom assistant and will also help with the organization and implementation of monthly field trips.

I'll be back to my current routine next week: teaching 2 written communication courses at Latina. I'm going to meet the Regional English Language Officer (RELO), Michael Rudder. Michael was at my orientation in DC last summer. In conjunction with Panama TESOL, he will be leading a training on Tuesday afternoon. I will also be helping Christine in any way I can as CELI will be opening on March 2nd. Drew, the other ETA, is arriving on March 1st and my first visitors, Katharine and Susan, will be here on March 9th! That means vacation is a few short weeks away!!

A quick nephew update: he's been working hard on growing. Glamma Nancy and David went to Charlotte for the week...it was really difficult knowing that I couldn't be there too. But I did get to witness him squirm a bit and finally got to see his eyes live; so glad to know he has something in his eye sockets. I'm trying to convince my mom to pack him in her carry on when they come in August. Put in a word for me to help get her and my sister convinced!

Have a great week.

Cuídate.