home stretch

Wow. In my last post I started off talking about how shocked I was for it to nearly be August. But now I have less than 6 weeks left. It's a really strange combination of feelings; for those of you that have lived or studied abroad for a significant amount of time I'm sure you understand. For those of you that haven't I'll do my best to explain it. I'm sure you all remember my first couple months here and how unsettled I was. I felt like things were completely out of my control. I didn't have a steady job and I didn't really have a home. I've never experienced such strong feelings of isolation, loneliness, anxiety, pressure and overall unease. November seemed so far away. But time went on. I was welcomed in to Christine's home. I began working closely with her as a student teacher. I became a lesson planning pro. I started co-teaching classes and working with Access students. I had many visitors (Katharine, Susan, Sra. Stiles, Jack, Dad, Laura, Mom, David, Kelly, and Wes) with whom I got to share this beautiful country. I went to networking events and expanded my friend group exponentially. I built relationships with friends and colleagues that I know will last longer than my time here.

This little country of only 3 million people that made me feel tiny and alone just 8 months ago has become my home. Just the other day I noticed I had gotten used to something I swore I would never adjust to: honking. I was walking from my bus stop to work and a few different taxis were honking at me for a number of possible reasons--to see if I wanted a ride, to suggest I needed to get out of their way or to express their interest in my appearance--but whatever the reason was I hardly even noticed their annoying little beeps. I kept walking and all of a sudden thought to myself "Holy cow I'm culturally adjusting. This is so weird." I've even gotten used to the heat! I've just accepted the fact that I will sweat everyday and will have to do more laundry than usual. It's still not comfortable and I'd really like to enjoy the fall weather of the Midwest, but I'm sure I'll miss this heat and humidity once it's winter in Iowa :)

One on of my first posts here, Kim Young-Kent commented with something that has stuck with me this whole time. She said that "you are home my dear girl...you are all the home you need." She was and still is right; it just took me a little while to see it.

With all of that said, I still am looking forward to my return to the US. It's a very bittersweet feeling knowing that I'm leaving this new home but that I'm going back to people I love so much and mean so much to me. Mostly I really can't wait for Jack and me to start our adventure together. I feel really lucky to have met the person I'm supposed to be with forever at such a young age. But we've spent so much time apart. Thanks for your patience, Jack. While I feel at peace here now, I feel more at home when I'm with you. Being in the same country as all my family (parents, grandparents, sister, brother-in-law, adorable nephew!, aunts, uncles, cousins, Jack's family, my good friends that might as well be family, etc.) is going to be really great, too. Oh, and I can't forget to mention all of the delicious food I'm going to stuff my face with: red meat, barbeque, Sweet Mandy B's!!!, good bread, honeycrisp apples, sushi--yes there is fresh fish here but no sushi restaurants, big bummer--and more that I can't type out now because thinking about it is making me salivate and I don't want to make a mess.

I also really really really can't wait to go back to school. I have been working with an indigenous group here, the Piriati Embera. They expressed concern over the disapperance of their indigenous language. Many of the elders speak it but don't read and write it. Most of the young people have limited to no knowledge of it. Even the community's cacique (the head honcho) has limited skills in the language. I went there in July for an initial meeting with the community's president and one of the informal Embera teachers. I returned on Sept. 18 with my friend and collaborator, Jackie, to meet with more of the teachers, the president and the cacique. I listened to the history of their community and their language and learned more about their needs in relation to preservation of the language. The community currently only has one Embera teacher that is certified by the ministry of education to be a teacher. I will be drafting a grant proposal for the community leaders to use to lobby for support and resources from local and international funders. I will focus this proposal on getting formal teacher training for the Embera teachers so that they can most effectively pass on their language to the young people of the community.

My work with Piriati Embera has solidifed my academic and career goals. I will be applying to the University of Texas in Austin and the University of Wisconsin in Madison (but I really want to be a Longhorn!). Burnt orange isn't my favorite color, but UT has the best program for what I want to study: Latin American studies. From my work with Piriati I plan to go for an MA in Latin American studies with a sociolinguistic lens. Then, I will, hopefully, continue on for a PhD in sociolinguistics. My whole experience as an ETA has showed me the power of language. I want to see how the introduction of a mainstream language (eg Spanish) impacts an indigenous person's cultural identity. Interesting stuff!

I also need to take this opportunity to tell you about my mom, David, Wes and Kelly's visit to Panama...it was amazing! First off, thanks to all of them for using some of their precious vacation days to visit me here. It really meant a lot for me to share this with you :) So the first couple days they were here we all squeezed in to my little apartment. They got to see my new 'hood and it saved them a fair amount of money (hotels are expensive here!). We took the Metro bus to Latina, they got to meet some of my colleagues and see where I work, we went to the local grocery store, and enjoyed local beers at night. They really got a taste of my daily life (but I don't consume nearly as much beer or rum by myself as I did with them!). On their first Saturday we took a boat through the Panama canal! A bus dropped us off at the middle set of locks, Pedro Miguel, then we boarded a boat formerly owned by Al Capone! The whole experience was really great. We had gorgeous weather, the guides were fantastic and I got to touch the walls of the Panama canal--one check off the bucket list. They also got to meet some of my new friends. Jenny, Josh and Isis joined us for Lebanese food at Cedros (my favorite spot in this city) and then drinks at Rana Dorada. On Sunday we took a boat to Contadora, an island in the Pearl Islands. I won't give you the day to day details of the trip but here are the highlights: we were greeted to the island by some dolphins following our boat and a humpback whale nearby, we stayed in a gorgeous villa (that housed some ladies of the night the night before our arrival...we were all happy to smell the overpowering scent of bleach when we walked in), we ate delicious seafood, we went to the beach every day, we drank a lot of rum and beer and even some Smirnoff Ice--Kelly was right, it's kind of delicious and very refreshing--we went on a snorkeling trip and listened to the sounds of a baby humpback whale, on our last full day we watched a humpback whale jump out of the water many times, we enjoyed the deliciousness cooked by Wes (wizard in the kitchen!), we saw the set of Survivor, and we relaxed (even my mom!). It was a really nice 4 days. Upon return to the city we went to Casco Viejo (the colonial part) where we had rented a gorgeous apartment for their last couple nights. We ventured to the fish market where we bought some lobster ceviche (YUM) and fresh shrimp. We ate a delicious 10-course meal at Manolo Caracol's. On my parents' last night we went for pizza, wine and live music. It was a perfect ending to a really wonderful trip. Thanks again guys!!

The weekend before last I went to visit Drew, the other ETA, in David. I had not made it to Chiriqui yet and was anxious to get there before the end of my time. Chiricanos are known in Panama for being very proud, friendly and outgoing people. I almost always know when I meet someone in the city from Chiriqui. I took the midnight bus that got me to David at 630 am on Friday. Drew met me at the station, we went back to his house and then went out to explore the little town of only 100,000 people. In the town center is a really nice plaza with a beautiful fountain. Shop after shop selling the same things line the plaza and the surrounding area. After a while of exploring and some lunch we headed to his placement, UNACHI (Universidad Autonomia de Chiriqui). Drew works at a public institution. He leads a reading club and a drama club and offers tutoring to students. The drama club was in session that day so I got to sit in on their meeting. The students impressed me SO much. Their passion for learning and dedication to their education was really inspiring to me. I felt a huge difference between the atmosphere at UNACHI and that of Latina. Latina tends to feel very sterile and office-y. But UNACHI had that warmth that cultivates a great learning environment. That night Drew and I met up with some Peace Corps volunteers who were really great. I've got a lot of respect for people who do Peace Corps. I thought this experience was tough but I didn't have to build my own house or only eat beans and rice for 2 years. On Saturday we took a bus (for a whopping $1.75!) to Boquete. This little highland town is famous for its coffee, cool weather and abundance of American retirees. We walked around, had a really nice (French!...who would've thought, French food in Chiriqui?!) lunch complete with escargot and duck, walked to a beautiful garden and enjoyed a cafecito on a patio. I was COLD--from the natural environment, not the air conditioning. It was glorious. On Sunday David finally showed me what it's famous for: heavy, heavy rain. It poured rain all day so our beach plans were scratched for watching opening day of the NFL. Not a bad trade off for two Americans missing American football! Thanks for showing me around and hosting me Drew! I'm glad I made it out there, wish I could have come sooner!!

This past weekend was the Panama TESOL (teaching english to speakers of other languages) conference here at Latina. I went to a couple of great workshops about peer coaching, observation, collaboration, effective classroom activities, and a great motivational talk by Marge Zuba--she's from Chicago and it was great to hear her accent and her Chicago stories. It was a great conference that I took a lot from. I also made the newsletter for the conference-- a 16-page spread to help celebrate Panama TESOL's 25th anniversary. It turned out really nice.

Those are the highlights from the last couple months. Here is what I have planned for my final 5.5 weeks:
1. A weekend getaway to a beach destination with friends.
2. Going to the World Baseball Cup, particulary US vs. Panama on Oct. 9.
3. Possibly seeing Ricky Martin in concert.
4. A potential trip to Los Pozos, where my friend Luis is from, to celebrate the birthday of his hometown.
5. Finish and present the grant proposal for Piriati Embera and hopefully have some teacher trainings set up for them.
6. Finish and submit grad school applications.
7. Just enjoy every minute of my last 40 days here!

I'll see many of you really really soon! :)

Cuidate.